Biblical Relationships

By: Joshua Chang, former YG Doulos member (Class of 2010)

Read: 2 Corinthians 6: 13-15

We were guys and we were stupid. Girls are so complicated and hard to figure out. We had questions for our discipleship leader such as how we should be gentlemen or if we should even date. Of course, Ben did not always have the answers we were looking for. But we still received some great wisdom from him.

What is dating? Dating in my eyes is intentionally spending time with somebody. The general consensus of what dating means is something that happens between a boyfriend and a girlfriend. So let’s broaden our view of dating. We can date our parents and we can date our friends. We can also be dating by spending time with a group of friends. Then you would say, that’s just spending time with a group of friends. I would say yes, but there was the intention of growing closer together. Friends cannot grow closer together without spending significant time together. So, the basis of a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship should have a basis of a friendship first. That is me saying don’t go through to the advanced stuff before you have covered the basics. It is the same for anything such as learning an instrument or a sport. You learn the basics first before going on to advanced techniques. In the sense of advice, do not become boyfriend-girlfriend unless you have already spent enough time in group settings as well as private settings.

All that stuff was like, “Yeah, I knew that.” But I want to emphasize the most important part of having a relationship with the opposite gender. This is the focus of your relationship. First of all, I’m safely assuming that all of are planning to or are in a serious relationship with a Christian. It’s not wise if you aren’t or weren’t planning on it. Ask Ben or Jon. The best explanation that I can give you is that a believer and a non-believer are not supposed to be yoked together. More times than not, we end up compromising our beliefs and morals. If you are in a relationship with a Christian, that’s great. The only thing I would make sure is that God is in the center of your relationship. Well, God should be the center of everything we do and think. But God should most importantly be in the center of all the relationships that we have and make. If he isn’t your sole focus while you are in the relationship, you are making that person more important than God.

My point is this: being in a relationship is not for everybody. People become ready at different times, and both sides of the relationship must be ready when the relationship begins. Your expectations should be the same. Most importantly, your relationship should not distract you from worshipping God. This was one of many important things that Ben had taught me (Meaning he taught me a lot more than just about dating). He was a great example of a normal guy living a godly life, which has inspired me.